Media, Teens, and Sex

posted by: April on November - 1 - 2010
category: Blog

As I was browsing the channels I found myself wrapped up in a show about teen mothers. Along with shows like Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby I try to keep myself far away from this type of reality TV. I get so riled up that they are portraying birth and parenthood as something so terrifying and inconvenient.

In this show about teen mothers it was so apparent that these girls were still trying to figure out who they were and what everyone thinks of them. They are trying to grow up themselves, how can they raise these little ones? What’s worse, is why are we putting cameras in their faces? I really don’t think that that is helping any. We know that teenage girls already have a flair for the dramatic, put a camera in their face and tell them they will be on national television and boy oh boy, someone’s getting an Emmy.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that there are bad mothers of all ages; teen moms aren’t the only ones out there. But after a 10 year decline in teen pregnancy, the rates are going back up. I hope that putting teen mothers on TV isn’t glorifying the situation. Teens will go to great measures to get attention, especially if they aren’t getting enough from home. How many teens are seeing all this attention these moms are getting and think that getting pregnant is a great solution for their loneliness?

We live in a culture where girls are obtaining most of their sexual education through the media. Many parents are so uncomfortable to have “the talk” with their kids that they leave it up to schools or just hope they figure it out on their own. This isn’t ok. Parents have to be comfortable enough to develop a dialog with their girls regarding their bodies. Even if parents don’t want to have a formal talk, make sure there is consistent open communication on the subject.

We need to teach girls most of all how miraculous their bodies are. If a girl has respect for her body instead of looking at it as gross or dysfunctional, she is much less likely to use it as a tool for attention.

Here are some things we can all do to help raise strong, confident women:
- Think of the way you talk about your body, are you using positive words and phrases?
- What are you allowing her to watch? Monitor her TV and computer time.
- Are you open about bodily functions? Do you think your daughter would come to you with questions about her body?
- Have you discussed menstruation with your pre-teen? Did you talk about it as a positive or a negative event?
- Communicate with your daughter. Tell her your thoughts and feelings, so she will reciprocate. Sometimes it really helps to know that you are human too; that you have ups and downs, just like she does.

Come on everyone; let’s take responsibility for the rise in teen pregnancy. Let’s help our daughters love and respect themselves, lets make them feel heard, so they won’t have to go elsewhere for love and attention.

4 Comments

Lana

November 4, 2010

I have to respectfully, yet vehemently disagree (not in an angry way, just a whole-hearted way! :]) on a couple of points. I think you are likely referring to MTV’s ’16 and Pregnant’ or its sister-show ‘Teen Mom.’ I majored in Communication Studies and Sociology at UCLA, so I was very interested to see how MTV would handle this topic. I knew it would be important, because so many teens and preteens watch MTV and are influenced by its messages, and I’ll admit, I was nervous. I am so relieved and so impressed that MTV actually created a socially responsible show – socially responsible! A REAL reality. They show it all – the good, the bad, the ugly. I honestly cannot imagine someone that actually watches the show saying that it glorifies teen pregnancy. There’s nothing glorious about what these girls go through: boys disappoint (and that’s putting it mildly), relationships crumble, they miss out things, they struggle financially, they struggle to simply finish high school or even just a GED. On the contrary – it shatters the romanticized bubble that I think some teen girls have of what it would be like to “play house” with their boyfriends. These shows depict the struggles of these teenage girls. Bravo to MTV for showing a realistic version of the consequences. We all *tell* girls not to get pregnant in their teens – ’16 and Pregnant’ and ‘Teen Mom’ *shows* them why they shouldn’t. It’s a harsh reality that the viewer may not see otherwise. I have heard people say that they would not allow their daughters to watch the show, which is funny because if I had a preteen or teen daughter, I would make her watch.

admin

November 4, 2010

Lana,
I Love you! :) I totally get what you are saying here, you are right, its a very accurate depiction of what life is like being 16 and pregnant (or with a baby). However, I still think that girls who want attention would go to any lengths to get it. We know that kids will do anything to get attention, it doesn’t matter whether its positive or negative, they just want it.
Also, there are moments on the program where they show how much love there is between mom and baby… For a teen that doesn’t get love at home, she might do anything to get that kind of unconditional love, even if that means dealing with all the crap.

Lana

November 4, 2010

I love you too! :D

The teens you are talking about are going to go to some length, at some point, for some reason. If they are truly lacking in love and attention that severely, then it’s going to be something. We can’t hide the truth and keep quiet about it for those few extreme cases. Kids need to be talked to, they need to know and understand their bodies, sex, contraceptives, and they need to know what it looks like, and feels like, to live with the reality of a choice that they make. Like I said, it’s one thing to talk about it, and quite another to see it. For instance, I bet that a girl whose friend got pregnant as a teen views teenage pregnancy and the responsibility that comes along with having sex a lot differently than a girl who has never seen a teen mom firsthand. ’16 & Pregnant’ and ‘Teen Mom’ give more girls that opportunity. I think it’s educational, and socially responsible.

Just my OH-pin-YON. ;) xoxo

admin

November 4, 2010

I don’t think that what I am talking about are extreme cases. I remember being a teen, wanting attention and wanting someone to love. I didn’t come from a bad home life, I could have used more attention, sure, but many can say that. I had a teen friend who had a baby and I saw her struggles and I still wanted that. I saw the intense love there, and that made all the struggles she had seem like nothing. Perhaps I’m just dense. Thankfully I didn’t make a baby at that point, but I definitely wanted to.

Kids absolutely need to be talked to so they can learn about their bodies, sex, etc (that’s my big mission in life right now!). After a lot of the research that I’ve been doing, I’ve found that MANY parents are unfortunately not having that talk. I don’t think shows like this should be a teens sex ed though.

Saying ALL of that though, I do see your point. I’ve heard of “scaring kids straight” by taking them to jails and morgues, if they are on a bad path. That makes sense to me. I suppose shows like this are similar to that idea.

Hopefully teens will be “scared straight” after watching the shows out there. I know they definitely leave me scared.

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