Confident Beginnings

I was 9 years old, almost 10, when I moved to Iowa with my mom , my then-stepfather and sister. I was leaving behind my father and the only state I’ve ever lived in. Iowa is a completely different world compared to California, but I had no choice, so reluctantly, my sister and I went.
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Going to a new school and making friends was scary, but it happened. I preferred to blend in, however I always seemed to stand out as that “girl from California”. Home life was terrible, my stepfather was abusive to my sister and I, and all I wanted was my Daddy.
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One day, after being told I had a large forehead from someone at school, I went to talk to my mom and stepfather about it. My stepfather proceeded to take out a tape measure just to verify that “ it really is huge”. I was mortified. Although, that was nothing compared to what he did the next day. He said he was going to trim my bangs for me; he and my mom both did this, so I thought nothing of it. When he took out the electric shaver, I began to get scared, scissors were normally the tool of choice when cutting hair. He trimmed my bangs with the electric shaver and was laughing hysterically the whole time. When he told me to go look in the mirror, I saw that he had shaved my eyebrows off. He said that it was great, and that now I really did have a huge forehead. I don’t remember much else about that day, other than crying in the corner, not letting anyone come near me.

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From that day on, I have had the biggest complex about my forehead. Anyone who has had a chance to talk with me for a while has heard it come up at least once. I usually try to be the first one to bring it up now, so I don’t have to endure anyone staring at it or saying something. It is the running joke in my family now, mostly because I let it be just that. It’s easier for me to joke about it then act like it’s not there.
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When I was pregnant with my daughter 10 years ago I was so scared she would get my forehead, and guess what? She did. When my son was born almost 2 years ago now, he had it too. But, for some reason, I think it’s beautiful on them. I say that they wear it better than I do, that they are lucky.
For those of you with children, try to watch every single word you say. Empower your children.They listen to everything you say, do you know how powerful that is? You can make such a difference in their lives, for better or for worse.

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And it doesn’t matter how old they are, your words still have an effect. When I go to see my dad, I can usually expect to get a negative comment about my nose ring or something else I’ve done “to make myself ugly” as he puts it. And it still hurts. However, I know I am happy with who I am now, and I find it sad that he can’t be happy for me.
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As my husband and I were talking today, I asked him to always tell me if I’ve greeted my kids with negativity instead of acceptance and love. I know words are powerful, I’ve felt it. Every day that I have with my children I do my best to show them the respect and pride I have for them, if every parent can vow to do just that much, what a bright future we have.