Confident Beginnings

In just 30 days I proved to myself that when I say that I’m going to do something, then I will follow through. I know this seems extremely basic, but my old status quo used to be to back out when the going gets tough. I always was able to come up with a great excuse, but that’s all it was, excuses to get me out of really pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I love my comfort zone, its, well…comfortable.

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So, when I heard about the 30 day hot yoga challenge at my yoga studio, I came home and asked my husband if he thinks I should give it a try. I told him that if I did then I would need a lot of support through it all. He loved the idea and told me he would do whatever it takes to get me through the 30 days. I told my friend Kate about it too, since she goes to yoga too and she thought that I was insane.

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So, I signed up, very excited and scared. I knew I was going to need a lot of support from my family, that’s for sure. Kate ended up signing up for the challenge too, which really helped, knowing that she was going through it all with me as well. Guess the idea wasn’t so insane after all!

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Just a couple weeks in to it I pulled my hamstrings, then I found out I was pregnant, and then for the last 3 days I had the flu. These 3 things would normally have been perfect excuses to get out of doing the challenge, but I never once wanted to quit. Especially once I passed the half way point; it was so much easier. I will admit that the flu almost got me to skip a day, which I think it pretty understandable. But I just wouldn’t let myself do that; I couldn’t, not after how far I had come.

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This challenge has given me a confidence in myself that I’ve never had before.  I really feel like I can do anything that I set my mind to. I did this and I didn’t scream and whine through it all. I am strong in mind and body. That is something that I honestly didn’t believe before.

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Giving birth to my son at home showed me gave me a taste of that confidence… but I whined, screamed and complained through it all, so for some reason, I didn’t feel all that strong in my mind, but felt a great confidence in my body. With the yoga challenge I saw that I do have the strength of mind I thought I was missing.

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Now, I am pregnant again. Part of me wonders if this was all part of some divine plan to give me more confidence for my next home birth. Perhaps I did all of this too show myself that I can give birth at home with a strong body and mind this time.