For anyone who knows me or has followed my on-and-off-again blog knows that this pregnancy was a challenging one for me; not so much on a physical level, but on more of an emotional, psychological, and spiritual level. The challenges were all blessings of course, because they allowed me to learn more about myself and grow so much as a mother, wife, and woman. [...]
[Read More]I have just recently learned a skill that most of the population has known since birth probably… the skill of knowing when my plate is full and respecting that knowledge. For those of you that might still be a little late in the game to this skill, like me, I will explain. . I am great at falling in love with an idea; I have [...]
[Read More]As someone who works from home, I have seen that it can be easy to “forget” to work and instead play with my husband and kids all day. But, the opposite is also true there are times when I get into such a groove working, that I almost get angry when I have to stop and do something else, even if that something else is [...]
[Read More]This morning as I sat in the sand staring at the waves, coming and going rhythmically, I thought of how I can learn so much for my birthing from the ocean. I want to tap into the energy, rhythm, mystery and beauty that the ocean holds. . The ocean has this unlimited energy; we see it in its patterns, in its rhythms. Its waves never [...]
[Read More]It’s come to that point in my life where I have to really sit down and make a decision about what I want to do when I grow up, my husband said so… . For those of you that know me well, you know that I am constantly in one program or another, learning something new. I love to learn, I just can’t help it. [...]
[Read More]Today I was sick. Like, I-can’t-get-out-of-bed sick. But, that’s not what worried me. As I laid there in my bed, literally unable to get out without getting violently sick, I got scared. Of what?? “Re-lapsing”. . As Steve was being excellent taking care of me and I heard Apollo laughing and playing downstairs, I thought about how I was just a couple of months ago: [...]
[Read More]My entries here have been sporadic to say the least, haven’t they? . I suppose it’s because of the shift in consciousness I’ve had, a shift I’ve shared with you here and there. Writing is my therapy, I really enjoy it, and I would never call it work…but I guess I’ve been the absent patient at the therapist’s office lately. . Truth is, I’ve been [...]
[Read More]When I am pregnant, like many women, I can’t wait for the moment I feel the baby kick. To me it makes it all so much more “real”. I know, the lack of a period and my growing belly should be enough, but it’s me I’m talking about…and that’s just not enough. With Ella, I felt her around 16 weeks and with Apollo I felt [...]
[Read More]The other night as I was putting Apollo to sleep, he was being the sweetest little boy you could ever imagine. He took my hand and held it, then kissed it…then just laid on me and was so ridiculously precious, it made my heart just fill with love for him. . Then, the inevitable happened… I stopped myself from enjoying the moment and thought about [...]
[Read More]As you know from yesterday’s post, I have realized that I’ve lived my life waiting for something bad to happen, that I am living in a constant state of fear. I will save my time and yours and not retell my story there; instead, I have another question for you. Is it naïve of me to expect to one day live without worry and fear? [...]
[Read More]I have a new focus, it’s to become comfortable. Not in my clothes or anything like that, but in my surroundings, in my body, in the moment. . It sounds ridiculous but for as long as I can remember I don’t ever fully relax. There is always a piece of me that’s on full alert. For what you ask? Usually and earthquake or mad serial [...]
[Read More]I’ve been gone for a while, unable to blog…It hasn’t been a vacation, but it’s for sure been an experience that has kept me away. . I found out I was pregnant at the end of January. This was wonderful news, since we were trying months before. However, I found myself being thrown in the deepest depths of depression unlike anything I’ve ever known. . [...]
[Read More]I feel incredible, like I haven’t felt in at least a month. So why am I scared? Because I feel so good of course! . Yesterday I spotted a little bit, which scared me so much of course. Then today I felt more energetic, I was happy, I felt like I could do it all, it was what I’ve been asking for. But the timing [...]
[Read More]While in the cloud of depression that I’ve been lingering in, there have been a few glorious times that I see how beautiful my life is. It’s those moments that keep me going; they give me faith to just keep pushing out of this fog until I can see these beautiful moments everyday. . The other night we were getting ready for dinner. Apollo was [...]
[Read More]Today’s post is simply a link…but its a great link, so I hope you check it out… Oops, I think I’ve said to much! Shay Maria poses without photo shop
[Read More]I have been horrible at writing lately, for that I apologize. But, really, I’ve been horrible at doing much of anything. Since I found out I was pregnant, I came down with the flu, which kept me down in a horrible way. Now I am completely void of energy and I get violently sick often. . With each of my pregnancies, I have little issues, [...]
[Read More]In just 30 days I proved to myself that when I say that I’m going to do something, then I will follow through. I know this seems extremely basic, but my old status quo used to be to back out when the going gets tough. I always was able to come up with a great excuse, but that’s all it was, excuses to get me [...]
[Read More]1/18/11: Today I stalled longer than I ever have getting out of bed. I actually got my phone and started looking up other times to go during the day. Then I convinced myself I would regret it if I didn’t go first thing in the morning. So then I got to the bathroom to change and just sat there on the toilet, not going to [...]
[Read More]I’ve been pregnant 5 times, including this current pregnancy. Every time I’ve been pregnant, I start showing almost immediately. Not a ton, but enough to make my pants tight and a little bump noticeable. Now, I am not ignorant, I know that my baby is as big as a grain of rice currently and that there is no way I could be showing, but I [...]
[Read More]Steve and I decided to try for another baby last fall and when it didn’t happen, we decided that that was the absolute best thing for us. We proceeded to plan our lives as a family of 4, and we made plans for our first big vacation, a cruise to Alaska. . So, you can imagine my surprise when last week Steve mentioned my period [...]
[Read More]Why is it that when I tell people that I don’t cook they look at me as if I’ve sprouted a second head? I’m so sick and tired of the outdated roles that are still in place to this day. . My husband is great, he cooks for us with very little complaint, but sometimes when we are with friends he points out this “flaw” [...]
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1/3/11- I woke up at least 3 times during the night out of shear excitement. It’s like I am going to Disneyland and can’t wait to get going. Although once my alarm goes off, the first thing in my head is, “Why are you doing this, you don’t like this!” Class was excellent, I am very tight since I took 2 weeks off, but that [...]
[Read More]What can I do with my placenta, other than throw it away?” is a common question asked in my prenatal classes; often said with a hint of curiosity and sometimes, I think, a little fear. . You can plant it and have it nourish your garden, you could make placenta prints (often an exciting project for siblings), or encapsulate it and enjoy its benefits, just [...]
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Be present. Be in the moment. Make sure that you don’t spend most of your day planning for the future or stuck in thoughts from the past.. 2. Get outside. Being outside can raise your spirits dramatically. Even on those lazy days, take a little walk outside. . 3. Drink water. I’ve noticed that on the days I don’t pay attention to my water intake [...]
[Read More]Why should nap time stop when we are kids? I think older children and adults are just as in need of a nap as young kids are. How many of you have looked at the clock around 3pm, wondering how you are going to make it through the rest of the day? . If we were given 15-30 minutes to rest after lunch, I wonder [...]
[Read More]By no means do I look as good as these people do in my postures.. But this is what I do at 6am every morning at Huntington Beach Hot Yoga Studio!
[Read More]I don’t like to exercise. I don’t get excited to work out. If I could stay healthy and fit without ever exercising, I would be in heaven. But what did I go and do? I signed myself up for a 30 day challenge at my hot yoga studio. I have to get up at 5:20 every morning and get my butt to yoga class by [...]
[Read More]Calling all the real women out there to show the world what women really look like. Not those air brushed ads and movies you see out there; I want real women, with all of our beautiful, and maybe some not so beautiful imperfections. . Who? Women 18 years-100 years old, mothers, grandmothers, women who have never had children, anyone who wants to somewhat-anonymously empower others [...]
[Read More]On June 29th, 2008 I was responsible for a crash that involved 4 cars, because I read a text message and didn’t see the stopped cars. I was pregnant and had my husband and daughter in the car. ITS NOT WORTH IT. . Take 10 min to watch this video…then pass it on to everyone you know. .
[Read More]With the New Year getting closer and closer, many people make new agreements with themselves to better their year ahead. In light of this, I would love to share a few questions that were asked of me recently. I think it can really help focus anybody, even if you don’t realize you are in need of some re-focusing. Perhaps after answering these questions you will [...]
[Read More]This month I tried out the Fleurcup and the ImseVimse and Minx cloth pads, which were donated to me from Teresa Francis at Feminine Wear (www.femininewear.co.uk). Thank you so much Teresa! . To be totally honest, I thought one cup was pretty much the same as the other, I mean how could they be that different?! It’s just a cup that collects blood… Well, I [...]
[Read More]December is my favorite time of the year. I love everything about it, the cold outside, the shopping, the decorations and the overall feeling of togetherness. I understand that for many people it is a time of stress and frustration, but I’ve never felt that. Even when I barely had a dime, this was my favorite time of the year. There is just nothing else [...]
[Read More]I just found out that Ella’s 5th grade class is going to be having their “puberty talk” in the spring. I found myself having very mixed emotions about this. My daughter probably knows more than most about the subject, having me as a mother, so it’s not that that worries me. What I am worried about is that her body will be represented as something [...]
[Read More]I think the quest for physical perfection is over rated. I mean, think about how boring it would be if we were all perfect. Would every woman have blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs and a firm butt? I think I will pass on that one. Sure, I may be insecure about certain parts of my body, there’s no denying that, but I’m not going [...]
[Read More]I was 9 years old, almost 10, when I moved to Iowa with my mom , my then-stepfather and sister. I was leaving behind my father and the only state I’ve ever lived in. Iowa is a completely different world compared to California, but I had no choice, so reluctantly, my sister and I went. . Going to a new school and making friends was [...]
[Read More]This song brings tears to my eyes each time I hear it…enjoy!
[Read More]Most of us have suffered from menstrual cramps at one point in our lives; and when we do we often reach for a bottle of Midol or Tylenol to relieve the discomfort. . Wouldn’t it be great if we could get relief and not have to touch a bottle of medicine? I know many women don’t believe it’s even possible to get the same relief [...]
[Read More]I think this is going to turn into more of a plea for help more than my usual blog post… I hope you don’t mind. . I am so fortunate on many levels; one being that both my husband and I get to work from home and care for our son. I know that because of this, I really have no room to whine or [...]
[Read More]This pic is from 2001, I believe. It’s of my sister, niece, petrified Santa, Me and my daughter, Ella. She has never gone back to see Santa since this picture was taken. I have not been brave enough to take Apollo to see Santa at all. I believe I am more emotionally scarred then the kids were.
[Read More]We all have “those days”, where sadness is an emotion that you cannot escape. You aren’t depressed and you might not have anything in particular to be sad about, however, the overwhelming feeling is there, like it or not. . What do you do when you have days where all you want to do is curl up in bed and avoid all human contact? Is [...]
[Read More]I was thinking of how I often tell new mommas to be patient with themselves and their babies, especially when they are learning the fine art of breastfeeding. I remind them that they’ve never done this before (even if it’s their 10th baby, they’ve never breastfed that baby) and to remember there is a learning curve there. . What great advice that is, if I [...]
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The expectation for women to look perfect is everywhere. It is impossible to turn on the TV without seeing a show or commercial talking about how you just need this cream or that surgery and you will finally be beautiful. . I was driving behind a bus the other day that had an ad saying that all diets will fail, but surgery always works. Wow! [...]
[Read More]My quest to try as many alternative menstrual products as possible and report back on them has begun, starting off with the Instead Softcup. At first look, I must admit, they were quite intimidating. The cup itself looked so large, I couldn’t imagine how it would go inside of me comfortably; but I of course gave it a shot. . First I read the booklet [...]
[Read More]Of course, I couldn’t complete my thankful week without mentioning my kids. I have written already about how much they have changed my life, so I won’t go into all of that again. . I will keep this simple and say how incomplete my life would be without my children. Every day that I get to wake up and see there faces is a good [...]
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I have always been encouraged to follow my dreams, for that I’m thankful. Recently, when I started pondering teaching less and writing more, my husband told me that he fully supported my decision but he would love it if I chose something and stuck to it soon. That really got me thinking. I have constantly added to my education, taking on new certifications and teaching [...]
[Read More]In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I plan on being very cliché and reporting everyday about what I am most thankful for in my life. I will put my thanks in no particular order, just whatever happens to come to my mind that day. . Today, I’m thankful for my husband, Steve. Our relationship isn’t typical, he had to be almost killed before he realized [...]
[Read More]People watching has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl I can remember watching women pass by, making plans with their friends, gleaming with self confidence and independence that I both adored and envied. I imagined what I would be like when I was their age, all grown up. . I had pretty clear [...]
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On April 5, 2000, my life changed forever. My daughter, Ella was born that day via induction, lots of narcotics and an epidural. I was 19 years old when she was born and I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I loved this little person more than I had ever loved anyone else in my life. . Her presence [...]
[Read More]Diva Cup, The Keeper, Mooncup, Instead, Sea Sponges, Luna Pads, Glad Rags…. I am sure there are many more out there. Reusable menstrual products, how many have you tried? . I really think the reason why more people don’t use reusable products is because they aren’t in every grocery and convenience store, so most people don’t even know they are out there. Also, I think [...]
[Read More]I love my father. I just have to start off with that, so you don’t get the wrong idea about what I’m about to write. I love my father, but sometimes, I don’t like him very much. . My father and I have always been pretty close. He and I are gifted with the same warped sense of humor and he has always expressed his [...]
[Read More]I love all of the progress I am seeing in the pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding world right now. There is a multitude of options for pregnancy and birthing classes out there like Sacred Birth, Birthing from Within and Hypnobabies, just to name a few. We have over 21,000 Board Certified Lactation Consultants out there to help breastfeeding Mommas and to spread breastfeeding awareness. I definitely [...]
[Read More]Do you have those days where you just want to crawl into a cave and not talk to anyone? Or the days where you are sociable, quick witted and full of energy? . If you struggle with a roller coaster ride of emotions and don’t know how to work with yourself to establish some sort of normalcy, you’re not alone. Many women feel like a [...]
[Read More]Are we such a sexualized society that we can’t even shower with our child without getting looks like we might be doing something inappropriate? . Recently a friend of ours made a comment about how showering with his one year old daughter would be disgusting. He went on to say that if he did that, then there must be something wrong with him, that he [...]
[Read More]Before my shower today, I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror not too excited about what I saw. Within about 1 min I was able to pick out about 50 different things I hate about my body. Disgusted, I got in the shower. . While lathering, I got to thinking: I know I’m not the only woman out there who does this, [...]
[Read More]When people have found out that I co-sleep with my son, I usually don’t get too much feedback. However one person said something to me that just irked me a bit. “We don’t co-sleep with our baby because my partner and I value our intimacy”. Excuse me? I can assure you that intimacy is a pretty big deal in my marriage too, thanks. Do people [...]
[Read More]As I was browsing the channels I found myself wrapped up in a show about teen mothers. Along with shows like Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby I try to keep myself far away from this type of reality TV. I get so riled up that they are portraying birth and parenthood as something so terrifying and inconvenient. In this show about teen mothers it [...]
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